All Due Respect Read online

  “No one else is qualified to head it.”

  He meant that no one he trusted was qualified to head it. Julia stilled her jangling keys. Seth was saying more than she was hearing. Not atypical between them, but she was out of practice at reading between his lines. “You’re worried about this for another reason.”

  Nodding, he confirmed her fears. “Two, actually.”

  When he didn’t say any more, she resisted an urge to nudge him, then realized the problem. “To disclose them to me, you’re going to have to breach security.”

  Expelling a sigh, he looked back at her. “Is your clearance still valid?”

  “You know it’s not, Seth.” For all the good it had done her, when she had moved, she’d been extremely careful not to leave a trail. Seth had to have contacted the OSI or Intel to find her. No one except those who already knew what had happened would advise him not to pry into her personal life to determine who she was and what she stood for now. Seth had to know it all. Every sordid detail.

  Heat crept up her neck to her face, and she flushed hot. He probably had been testing her, asking about Karl, to see if she would admit what had happened. And maybe she should have, but she just wasn’t that brave. That brave, or that strong.

  “I’m going to trust you, Julia.” Seth laced his fingertips. “I’m not sure why, but I’m going to trust you.”

  The hurt ran deep. Didn’t he understand that she wouldn’t have left as she had unless it had been completely necessary? Didn’t he know her better than this?

  Obviously not. “You’re going to trust me because you know you can—and because you don’t have a choice.” Anything with the potential to kill millions rated as a crisis in her book, and no doubt in the OSI and Intel’s, too. They had authorized Seth to breach security and talk to her. Otherwise, he would never do it. Ever.

  Now just how should she feel about that? Relieved or worried?

  Damn worried, she decided. If they’d authorized disclosure to her, then the news had to be god-awful.

  “I do still trust you,” Seth said. “But I’m not comfortable with the risks of being wrong.”

  She frowned at him. “What makes you think I’m comfortable with your dropping back into my life, dumping this problem in my lap? I left, remember? I don’t get involved in these professional crises anymore.”

  He slid off the edge of the table and shifted in the sand, half burying his loafers, then stopped directly in front of her. His jacket brushed against her knees. “I’m worried for two reasons. One, my professional reputation and financial security are on the line.” His expression turned dark, clouded. “And two, I’ve already noted what could be program irregularities.”

  “Someone on the project is corrupt?”

  “It’s possible. During Slicer Industries’ development of the prototype, I picked up on two minor incidents that could be significant. I’m just not sure.”

  “But you’re sure enough to be concerned.”

  “Of course.”

  Of course. With Seth, any irregularity pertinent to his project or to a potential project, no matter how slight, warranted concern.

  “What these two incidents were isn’t important,” he said. “What is important is that if this project is funded—which it will be—then I need someone I trust heading it.” He lifted his gaze from her shoulder to her eyes. “I need you, Julia.”

  Oh, damn. She didn’t want to be in this position. Why had he put her in it, forcing her to choose? “I can’t,” she said before realizing the words had left her mouth. “I wish I could, but that isn’t my life anymore.” God, she felt disloyal, like an ungrateful traitor. Why did refusing him make her feel so rotten and hurt so badly?

  Because, aside from your Uncle Lou, Seth Holt is the only man in your life who always backed you up and never demanded anything in return. He’s always been special.

  Julia shut out her nagging conscience. The last thing she wanted was a man carrying “special” status in her life. “Look, Seth. If you suspect corruption, then why not contact the lab commander, the general, or the OSI?” By regulations, the Office of Special Investigations and the general and lab commander should be notified, and they both knew it.

  “Colonel Ed Pullman is the lab commander.”

  “The gutless wonder from the TDY trip to Edwards?” A Colonel Pullman had headed their team on a temporary duty trip to the desert Air Force base to test the Rogue missile. He’d been spineless.

  “That’s the one,” Seth confirmed. “And I can’t go to the OSI yet. I don’t have hard evidence.” The wind blew his hair down over his broad forehead. “If I report this without hard evidence, people’s careers and lives will be destroyed. Innocent or guilty. I can’t do that to them, Julia.”

  Many could and would. But not Seth. He wouldn’t risk wrongly accusing anyone. And any accusation he levied would be investigated under the standard premise of guilty until proven innocent. Considering the stakes were national security, the Department of Defense—or the government, for that matter—had no other choice. “Does this technology fall under the Black Operations umbrella?” Black World technology often had dual uses, military and civilian applications. In the lab, Black Ops signified military applications only.

  He shifted on his feet, clearly uncomfortable. “It’s . . . extremely sensitive.”

  Definitely Black Ops. Of course, Black Ops. So the project would be considered violated, too. Congress could pull the funding, demand extensive modifications, or scrap the entire project. Without a missile-defense program, the United States would remain extremely vulnerable. Very disturbing thought, considering the findings about the Chinese having access to secret nuclear warfare technology. “I see.”

  “Not yet. You’re missing a key element,” he said. “I need your help to protect us.”

  Us. Americans. All Americans. Resisting an urge to drag specifics out of him, she patiently persisted. “From what?”

  “You remember the Rogue missile?”

  “Of course.” The most advanced missile in the U.S. arsenal. Five thousand pounds of explosives. A hundred sixty-six bomblets that scatter when disbursed. A warhead capable of carrying conventional, chemical, biological, or nuclear ordnance. A new metal alloy construction and a stealth system that made the Rogue undetectable by standard countermeasures, such as early-warning satellite launch-detection systems that alert ground-based radar when a hostile missile is inbound. Seth held two system patents on the Rogue. Julia held one. “What’s wrong with it?” A system malfunction? Some overlooked flaw in the design?

  “Nothing is wrong with it. The Rogue works just fine.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  Seth’s expression turned grave. “We no longer have sole possession of it.”

  The heat seeped from Julia’s body. Chills rippled up her back, down her arms, and her left biceps began to spasm. She rubbed it, shoulder to elbow. “H-how?”

  “I don’t know. That’s for Intel to determine. What I do know is, if a hostile faction launches a Rogue against us, with Home Base I can minimize the damage.”

  “But Home Base is still a simple seeker missile. The Rogue isn’t some mousy missile, carrying a five-hundred-pound bomb, for God’s sake. How can you negate the impact of a hostile Rogue with a simple seeker missile?”

  “First, the Rogue is even more powerful than you know. After you left the lab, I modified its booster-ignition and explosives systems. That expanded its kill and damage zones substantially. Secondly, Home Base isn’t a simple seeker.”

  “Well, what is it?”

  A pleased-with-himself smile hovered on Seth’s lips. When a woman jogging along the shore ran out of earshot, he continued. “With Home Base, I can determine if the Rogue is live ordnance or a decoy. I can track it, forecast its trajectory, and most importantly, if it’s a smart bomb I can reverse its trajectory while it’s in flight, return it to its home base, and detonate it.”

  Damn. Julia brushed her windblown hair back f
rom her eyes. He really had taken a totally innovative approach in his design of this missile-defense system. “You can actually track, forecast, and return it to its own launch site? Even a Rogue?”

  “Theoretically, yes.”

  “Magnetic energy?” Altering it could abort a launch.

  “No. Existing arms treaties prohibit the use of an adequate power source.”

  Julia played out defense strategy scenarios. He couldn’t alter the trajectory, only reverse the existing programming. “So anyone launching against the U.S. would, in effect, be attacking themselves?”

  “Yes. And depending on its warhead type and payload—which I can’t determine—when they attack themselves, they’re going to damage or destroy everything within a hundred-kilometer radius of their chosen launch site.”

  A hundred kilometers? Three years ago, the zone was the size of two football fields, end to end. Now it was a hundred kilometers. “How? Isn’t the zone dependent on the missile’s payload and capability?”

  “Home Base is also armed,” he said. “Kill zone is roughly thirty kilometers. Damage zone, a hundred kilometers.”

  Visions of the aftereffects of a hydrogen bomb detonating flashed through her mind. She didn’t dare ask with what Home Base was armed. Not with a hundred-kilometer damage zone. But factoring in compliance with existing international arms treaties, it had to be armed with some new explosives technology.

  Seth’s eyes gleamed. “Do you see how valuable this technology would be to hostile factions?”

  “Oh, yes.” Devastation. Destruction. The creation of a wasteland. A moron could see the danger—and the challenge. Corrupted, the Home Base technology would fail, and the hostile Rogue would hit its U.S. target. Worse, with the Home Base technology, a hostile faction could reprogram any smart-bomb missile the U.S. launched to return to its U.S. home base and detonate.

  “We both know traditional interceptors only have an eighty-percent success rate. That leaves a big window of vulnerability, Julia. We need an actual missile-defense system. Right now, several countries are capable of targeting us, and we have no functional, effective response. Home Base will give us both. Naturally, it’s equally important that only we have this defense system.” Seth’s worry crept into his voice. “One well-placed, hostile Rogue could cripple this country.”

  “And kill millions.” Julia shuddered. Seth hadn’t exaggerated the damage-assessment estimates.

  What if a hostile faction targeted a metropolitan area? Take out even segments within a hundred-kilometer radius of a metro area, and that would wipe out a lot of Americans and a lot of resources. And if the hostile Rogue carried a chemical, biological, or nuclear warhead, then the damage-assessment estimates soared.

  Millions. Literally.

  When her heart dropped down from her throat and back into her chest where it belonged, she responded. “I understand why you need someone you can trust.” But could she do it? Could she risk helping him?

  Karl’s in jail. It’s safe. Considering the risks to others, how can you not do it?

  Her conscience made a strong case with valid points. If she refused and something happened, she would never forgive herself. Millions could die.

  “Well?” Seth interrupted her internal debate. “Will you help me?”

  She swallowed her fears about stepping back into her old life. It would be hard. There would be so many reminders, so many demons, waiting to confront her on every street corner. She couldn’t avoid them. But the stealth system, which prohibited the Rogue from being detected and tracked by standard countermeasure devices, carried her patent, and refusing Seth and turning away, denying her responsibility, would only create more demons.

  She couldn’t live with more demons.

  Staring out at the water, she accepted the inevitable. She would just have to find a way to deal with this. Just as she’d had to learn to deal with the other challenges.

  One demon at a time. One challenge at a time. One breath at a time.

  “Julia?”

  She looked into Seth’s eyes and couldn’t refuse him. “Yes. When the contract is awarded, I’ll take a leave of absence from school and head the project.”

  “Good.” He sighed his relief. “Good.”

  Julia’s mind chugged ahead. “But how are you going to get me back into the system?” Knowing he hadn’t forgotten, she still felt compelled to remind him. “I walked out without notice. They’re not just going to let me come back.”

  “Normally, they wouldn’t. But there’s a new program, and, under specific conditions, we’re allowed to bypass competitive bids on certain slots and hire direct.”

  “Specific conditions?”

  “Extreme threats to national security,” he said. “The Rogue is loose, Julia.”

  That qualified in her book. “What about my security clearances?”

  “They’ll be in place within a couple of days.”

  A couple of days? It normally took weeks.

  He’d already started processing them.

  Seemed he had an answer for everything, and she wasn’t at all sure she liked it. It made her feel manipulated, and she hated that. She stared at him until he looked at her. “You knew I’d say yes.”

  “I prayed you would say yes,” he corrected her. “And I prepared for it.”

  “Of course.” It wasn’t manipulation. It wasn’t. Seth always prepared. He was rock-solid, and always had been. It was a damn shame more men hadn’t emulated him. Karl, in particular. “When will the contract be awarded?”

  “I’m not sure exactly,” he said. “Is it critical?”

  “It is to me,” she said. “I have a special student, Jeff. His mother died a few months ago, and I suspect his father is emotionally abusing him.” Jeff had become the son Julia never had, and never would have. She couldn’t just leave him. He needed her—almost as much as she needed him. “I have to talk to him, file a report with the school counselor, and then work with her and the authorities to stop the abuse. I’m all he’s got, Seth. I can’t leave him, knowing that’s going on. I won’t.”

  “Of course not,” he said. “You’ve got a week, maybe two. I’ll get you set up and find you an apartment near Grayton.”

  “Grayton?” Her confusion carried in her tone.

  “Grayton Air Force Base,” he said. “It’s about thirty miles north of Hurlburt Field, on the Florida gulf coast.”

  “You mean, I don’t have to go back to New Orleans?”

  “No.” He blinked hard, then grunted. “I guess I forgot to mention I’d transferred.”

  “Yes, you did.” No New Orleans. No demonic memories to confront. No new demons. She smiled her relief when she really wanted to weep it. “What brought that on? The transfer, I mean.” He was king of the lab, well treated, and seldom questioned.

  The smile left his face, and his eyes clouded. “I could say I transferred to pursue other professional endeavors.”

  Her official reason for leaving. The barb hit its mark.

  “But the fact is,” he went on, “Grayton’s the new location of the Battle Management Center. Its lab is under the direct command of the Ballistic Missile Defense Organization.”

  “I see.” Still stinging from his “professional endeavor” remark, Julia scooted off the table, down to the sand, and dusted her backside with her hand. “I’d better get back to school.”

  He looked down at her. “Thanks for bailing me out on this.”

  How could she refuse? That she didn’t want to refuse him concerned her. “You present a compelling case.”

  “Yeah, unfortunately, I do.” Seth sighed. “I’ve missed working with you, Julia.”

  They’d worked together like hand to glove, finishing each other’s thoughts and sentences, instinctively agreeing on what to test next in their designs, on which battles to fight with the honchos and which ones to postpone. They had shared a unique relationship, based on trust and steeped in mutual respect. Neither intruded, but both were there if needed an
d called on. She’d hated losing that, resented losing him, and, for once, she let down her guard and admitted it openly. “I’ve missed you, too, Seth.”

  Sand lifted by the wind stung her foot. Julia swiped at it. “Is Home Base the sensor design you were working on privately before I left the lab?”

  “No. Different systems, different tasking. But mine can piggyback on Home Base. At least, I hope one day it will.”

  “So it hasn’t been funded.”

  “Not yet.”

  That had to be disappointing for him. To invest that much into something, to know it would work, and to have it put on permanent hold for a lack of money had to gnaw at him. It gnawed at her for him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too.” He let out a sigh. “I’m still perfecting it on my own. Who knows? Maybe its time will come.” He shrugged, then stilled, staring at her key chain. “You’ll need to get rid of that before you come to the lab.” He nodded at the miniature black flashlight dangling from her key chain. “They’ve become terrorists’ new weapon of choice.”

  Julia methodically challenged its potential uses. Only one passed her barrage of tests. “Scanners mistake explosives for batteries?”

  “For the moment.” Seth nodded.

  Meaning, scanner modifications in progress had a solution on the near horizon. Thank God. Having to fear every flashlight in the country incited nightmares, and she already had all of those she could handle.

  Sometimes, knowing these little tidbits could drive a person to paranoia. Unfortunately, if you knew them, odds were it wasn’t paranoia but a clear and present danger routinely encountered by service members in the field.

  “Julia.” Seth sounded hesitant. “Your coming to Grayton will be okay with Karl, won’t it?”

  The question caught her off guard. Was it a deliberate second chance to confess about Karl? Even if it was, she couldn’t do it. Doing her best to cover, act nonchalant, she smiled. “No problem at all.” It wouldn’t be, since Karl wouldn’t know it.