Shades of Gray Read online

  He worried his inner lip with his teeth. “All right. For now, all right.”

  “Thank you.”

  Jake passed a second photo to Connor. “This is a better shot of Hawkins’ face.”

  Laura glimpsed it and caught a flash of something that urged her to look closer. “May I see that?”

  Jake glanced at it again, and turned ashen. “Oh, hell. Oh, bloody hell.”

  “What is it?” Connor leaned over his desk to get a look at the photo.

  “Laura,” Jake said, passing the picture to her. “Check out his cheek.”

  Nerves crackling, Laura examined the photo—and saw the scar. Images of the attacker who’d broken into her home and come at her with the knife, images of her taking it from him, then slashing his face through the ski mask clicked through her mind. “That sorry bastard. That sorry, sorry bastard.”

  Connor dropped his hands to his desk. “Will somebody please tell me what is going on? Why is that scar significant?”

  Laura looked up at the general. “I put it there. Two and a half years ago, when he broke into my apartment.”

  Connor rocked back in his chair, perplexed. “Why the hell would Hawkins break in on you after so many years?”

  “Revenge,” Jake suggested. “He was publicly humiliated and dishonorably discharged for attacking Laura.”

  “Maybe,” Laura commented. Yet if he and James were working together on this, there could be another reason entirely. “But maybe not.”

  “A point worth factoring into the equation,” Connor said, “is that the attacker could have been someone else. Hawkins isn’t the only man in the world running around with a scar on his face.”

  “That’s true,” Laura conceded. “But his smell . . .”

  “What?” Jake frowned, clearly as perplexed as Connor.

  “Since the attack,” Laura explained, “whenever I have the nightmare of the masked intruder the nightmare of Hawkins’ attack always follows. Always. They smell the same, Jake.”

  “The nightmares?”

  “No, damn it, the men. Hawkins and the masked attacker. They smelled the same. I wondered why one dream always triggered the other one, and I assumed it was because in both of them I was being attacked. But it wasn’t. It was the smell. Their smell . . .”

  Fourteen

  General Connor stood up. “Why don’t you get Timmy settled and then take Laura home and get some rest, Jake? I’ll be conferring with the other team members during the day today. By 1800, I should have a clearer picture of the events transpiring in the last ninety-six hours.” Connor looked more than tired himself. “Let’s meet back here, then.”

  Jake left the office with Laura. Her shoulders slumped, and agony and an exhaustion she worked hard at trying to suppress twisted her face. It was normal under the circumstances, but he hated seeing her looking as if any second she’d keel over. She’d suffered too many shocks. Too much stress, too many demands, and too many shocks.

  He should’ve killed Hawkins for hurting her back then. Jake had thought about it, with every raspberry she’d consumed, every pound she’d lost, every tear she’d cried, and every damn nightmare she’d awakened from in a cold sweat. What man wouldn’t have thought about it? If Jake had done it then, this wouldn’t be happening now. The sorry bastard wouldn’t be hurting her again.

  They left the building and crossed the parking lot, and still she hadn’t said a word or looked Jake directly in the eye. He keyed the Jeep’s lock, opened the passenger’s door, and she got in, then buckled her safety belt. It snapped into place.

  When he’d buckled up and cranked the engine, he glanced over at her. A fat tear rolled down her cheek. “Are you okay?”

  “No.” Her voice sounded flat, devoid of emotion. “No, I’m not okay, Jake.”

  She didn’t try to hide the tear by wiping it away, but knowing she’d prefer it, he pretended not to notice it. Still, his stomach churned acid, and his chest went tight. Under pressure, Laura always came through. He knew that. But this time, she was struggling. Hard. He understood why. Hawkins was her Achilles’ heel, and the lousy bastard had tried to kill her again—twice. Breaking into her apartment, and then planting the explosive device in her car.

  Jake blew out a frustrated breath. And he, her husband, asks if she’s okay? God, who could be okay? Jake felt like an idiot. A helpless idiot, because he didn’t know what to say or do to alleviate her fears. It’d be easy to spew platitudes, but they’d only insult her intelligence, and they’d both know it. That left Jake only one option, and one thing to say. “I’m sorry, honey.”

  She stared straight ahead, not acknowledging him.

  At a loss, he tapped the gearshift, then drove down to the parking lot exit.

  A line of five tanks rolled down the street, heading past the water tower toward Hangar Row. They were probably about to be transported in the C-5s he’d seen belly-open on the flight line on the way in. Jake waited for them to clear out, and then entered traffic.

  “Stop by Green’s Automotive on the way home, Jake.”

  He braked for a red light, his arm draped over the steering wheel. Some kid with green hair pulled up in the next lane. Even through two sets of closed windows, his radio blared loud enough to set Jake’s teeth on edge. “I understand your need to talk with Mrs. Green, but I think she needs a little reaction time.”

  “If you don’t want to stop there, fine. I’ll get there on my own.” Laura reached for the door handle.

  With a restraining hand on her sleeve, Jake stopped her. “Laura, don’t. Honey, I’m not the enemy. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, anytime you want to go. I just thought Mrs. Green might need time alone first. That’s all.”

  “I know she does, Jake.” Laura looked over at him, her eyes haunted by fear that ran soul-deep. “But I seriously doubt she’ll be at the shop.”

  “Then why—” Jake sighed. “The mechanic.”

  “Yes. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull, saying Bill planted a listening device in my car, but he’s not going to get away with it. Bill Green didn’t have a dishonest bone in his body, Jake. And no one is going to tag him as corrupt without proof.”

  “At the risk of getting my head bitten off, may I suggest you put a little faith in Connor and the team, and let them do their jobs?”

  “Connor?” Laura guffawed. “For God’s sake, Jake. The man wanted us to put Timmy in Colonel James’ care, and you want me to trust his judgment? I don’t think so.”

  “Connor’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve—”

  “Yes,” she interrupted. “I believe he is a good man. Sincere and genuine and deserving of trust. But about James, the general is also uninformed. I won’t trust his judgment when I know he’s uninformed. Not with Timmy’s life. And I can’t believe you’d want me to.”

  Strong words, and very strong feelings. A sinking feeling lodged in the pit of Jake’s stomach. The light turned green. He tapped the gas and checked his rearview mirror. “What’s wrong with Colonel James?”

  “You worked for him. Can’t you answer that?”

  Though in no mood to play twenty questions, Jake buried his temper. She was stressed out. So was he, but one of them had to stay calm. From the looks of it, he’d been elected by default. “Evidently I can’t answer it, or I wouldn’t have asked the question.”

  Laura glared his way. “James is just like Sean Drake. A corrupt manipulator. I wouldn’t let him within a hundred yards of Timmy.”

  Sunlight streaked through the side window, heating Jake’s arm. He flipped the air conditioner up a notch. “Is that character analysis based on evidence, or instinct?”

  Laura wheeled her gaze back to the windshield. “A fair share of both intuition and hard facts.” God forgive her. Even now, she couldn’t tell Jake the truth. She had no choice but to
navigate into another gray area, pull in another alternate truth. “But if you want the evidence, you’ll have to talk with Dr. Harrison. What I know was told to me in confidence.”

  Dr. Harrison was the surgeon who implanted Laura’s tracking devices. James was in Intel. He and Harrison crossed paths on a lot of research projects, and it appeared from Laura’s reaction that Colonel James had crossed a lot more than just the good doctor’s path.

  Jake passed the gate guard, then took the normal route home that would have them pass Green’s Automotive. Laura didn’t want to discuss the basis for her feelings on James further, and that was fine with Jake. He trusted her judgment and greatly respected her instincts, especially regarding Timmy. She seemed attuned to him on an unseen level, and her feelings had proven accurate time after time. Even if these circumstances weren’t normal and she was stressed to the max, Jake still trusted her. He’d never doubt her again. Not now that he understood her vulnerability issue. That aside, she didn’t fear James but felt angry at something he’d done to an associate. She had a grip on this. Laura was loyal to those she loved and those she respected. She respected Dr. Harrison.

  During the fifteen-minute ride, Laura didn’t say anything more, nor did she move. She sat like a stone statue in her bucket seat, staring sightlessly through the Jeep’s side window. Exhaustion and shattered nerves could account for some of her reactions. Hawkins and ROFF could account for more. James, Green, the adoption, Madeline’s antics, and the bomb, more still. But something else lurked in her haunted eyes that hadn’t yet come to light; Jake sensed it as strongly as he sensed the sun heating his arm.

  What exactly it could be, he didn’t know. Habitually, when confronted, Laura didn’t withdraw like this. She rebelled, vehemently, kicking like a hellcat, or turning ice cold under fire—whichever the situation demanded. Yet this was Hawkins confronting her, one of her two big-time fears, and Jake couldn’t afford to forget that. Connor had made a valid point. Why would Hawkins wait all these years to come back for revenge? That didn’t make sense. If that motivated him, wouldn’t he have acted long before now?

  Seeing an opening in traffic between a white van and a Blazer, Jake pulled across the street, then up the slope into Green’s Automotive’s parking lot. Space at a premium, Jake edged into a cramped slot between a Chevy truck and a Taurus with its hood up. The little brick building was barely visible behind all the cars that had been dropped off for servicing. The last honest mechanic was dead, and Jake wondered who’d service all those cars now.

  Laura reached for her purse. “Before we go home, I need to make a couple phone calls—but not from here.”

  She’d convinced herself the mechanic who’d pointed the finger at Bill Green was guilty, not Bill. “Sure,” Jake told her. “How about the pay phone outside Food World?”

  “That’ll be fine.” She reached for the door handle.

  “Laura?” Jake clasped her hand. He’d supported her decision about Timmy in front of Connor. Now he wanted some information, and he didn’t much care for feeling doubtful that she’d give it to him. “Where do you plan to hide Timmy?”

  Something inside her snapped. The mask slipped off her face, and she reached up to stroke his cheek. “With someone who hates abuse and corruption as much as we do. But let’s take care of this first, okay?”

  Relieved to see her acting more normal, Jake nodded, only slightly disappointed that she hadn’t given him the person’s name. The tenderness in her touch made it clear that she would tell him once she had arranged things.

  Sun glinted against the shop’s wide, front window. Both big bay doors were closed. And no one was around. The office door was locked, and the lights inside were turned off. Jake felt more than a little relieved that Laura’s confrontation with the mechanic would be delayed. He also felt more than a little suspicious. The Taurus’s hood was up. Someone had left in a hurry.

  “Damn it.” She turned around and headed back toward the Jeep. “Connor probably has him.”

  He probably did. And for that too, Jake felt grateful. He looked around a little more, just to be sure, but found no signs of anyone, including Ginger, the Greens’ overweight hound. Her little pen behind the shop stood empty. Dry food still filled her dish.

  On the way back to the car, Jake stepped over a crack in the concrete that had sprouted knee-high weeds and closed the Taurus’s hood. Then he joined Laura in the Jeep.

  She held her silence, worrying him. What was going on in her mind?

  The short ride to Food World went without incident, and Jake pulled into a yellow-line parking slot right in front of the pay phones, then cut the engine.

  Laura fished in her wallet for two quarters, then tossed her purse back onto the floorboard. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’m coming with you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he insisted. “If ROFF got to your car, they can get to you.”

  “No one is following us, Jake.”

  “I’ve watched the rearview, too, and I haven’t noticed anyone following us, but I’m not leaving you standing alone in the open. You’d be an easy target.”

  Resigned, she waited for him to walk around the front of the car, then surprised him by reaching for his hand. He laced their fingers, and she gave his fingers a squeeze. Some of the rocks in his gut eroded to pebbles. She was rallying. Still, she needed the support of his touch. And despite less-than-two-percent-survival odds, and regret or not, by God, she was going to get it. After some of these things settled down and the pressure on her eased, then they could resolve their problems. Until then, he was there for her however she needed him. She still might feel vulnerable, but she damn sure wasn’t going to feel alone.

  The storefront walkway was busy. Morning shoppers departed from the store with loaded carts, while others entered it with empty ones. A young mother wearing white shorts and sandals stood smiling and watching her toddler ride a little merry go-round not far from the phone.

  Laura dropped a quarter into the phone slot, then dialed Alice’s number. When Betsy got on the phone, Laura dispensed with niceties and inquiries about Timmy and the ball game. As if she flipped a switch, her whole demeanor changed to her professional-and-controlled mode.

  Jake slid a hand into his pocket, damned relieved.

  “Betsy, you and Timmy need to stay at Alice’s for a while. No questions, please. Just watch Timmy closely, and don’t leave there until you hear from me. We’ll bring you some clothes. No, not for anything.”

  Laura paused a moment, obviously listening. “Fine,” she said. “Just stay there. No. No, not until you hear from me. Tell Timmy we love him.” She closed her eyes, and her voice went soft. “Yes, with all our hearts.”

  She depressed the phone hook, and then, without missing a beat, dropped another quarter into the slot and dialed. Jake didn’t recognize the number.

  “Emily, this is Laura Logan. I need an appointment. Yes, it’s an emergency.”

  Who was Emily? And what kind of appointment did Laura need?

  “Twenty minutes will be great. Yes, I’ll hold.”

  The mother lifted her toddler from the merry go-round, pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped at the child’s nose, then entered the store. Jake scanned the parking lot and the walkway, looking for anything suspicious, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

  “I need your help,” Laura said into the phone. “Timmy’s in grave danger, a suspected target, and I can’t trust anyone else. I need a safe place to—” She halted abruptly, relief washed over her face, and unshed tears filmed her eyes. “Yes, I’ll bring him right away.” She tucked her hair back behind her ear. “It could be for a few days. Maybe even longer. I just don’t know.”

  She glanced up at Jake and nodded, looking more relieved than pleased. “Fine,” she said into the phone. “A few hours.” She licked at her lips. “Thank you. This means so
much—”

  Jake had no idea what the person on the other end of the line had said, but it’d touched Laura deeply. She had that look; kind of wistful, kind of awed.

  She hung up the phone and turned to face him. “Let’s go get Timmy. Bear’s expecting him.”

  “Bear?” Surprise streaked up Jake’s back. “You’re taking Timmy to Bad Ass Bear?”

  Laura nodded. “Besides you, right now, he’s the only person in the world I trust.”

  “Honey, you’ve met the man twice. In a professional capacity. I agree, he’s helping with Madeline, but—”

  “Sometimes twice is enough. Sometimes you meet a person, and you sense things. You know exactly what I mean about that. I know he’s good.”

  “Are you sure enough to stake Timmy’s life on it?”

  “After the hell he put me through in his inquisition? Yes, I’m sure.”

  No hesitancy. Full support. “If you feel that strongly about it, then it’s fine with me.” Not that she’d given him a choice, or any say in the matter. But that too was a good thing. If suddenly Jake weren’t in the picture anymore, she’d have to act alone. Seeing how she’d handle a situation like this put Jake’s mind at ease. She hadn’t hesitated at going toe to toe with Connor, or in seeking Bear’s help.

  “You know Bear isn’t young, Jake. He isn’t particularly physical, either. But when it comes to children, he’s the most protective man I’ve ever seen. He’ll do everything humanly possible to guard Timmy, and Timmy likes him.”

  “That devotion is more important than physical strength.” A Glock was a hell of an equalizer on age as well.

  “I think so.”

  “Then let’s go get Timmy and get him settled in with Bad Ass Bear.”

  Laura looked up at Jake, her eyes wide. “Bear’s done more to help me than my own father. More than anyone in the world, except you. I want you to know that, Jake.”